What kind of button won't unbutton? A bellybutton!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
What is considered the tallest building in the world?
The library, because it has so many stories.
What do you call a pile of kittens a meowntain
Whens the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them
What do you call a horse that can't lose a race? Sherbet
Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with "I"
Bobby: I is...
Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say "I am", never "I is".
Bobby: "I am the 9th letter of the alphabet."
What did the father say whilst teaching his kid to tie his shoelaces?
Knot bad
Why is justice best served cold?
Because if it were warm, it would be justwater.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
Why did the giraffe get bad grades? He had his head in the clouds.
Why was the robot mad? People kept pushing its buttons.
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
What's easy to get into but hard to get out of? Trouble
Can I tell you a joke about paper. Nah, never mind, its tearable.
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
Did you hear about the vampire bicycle that went round biting people's arms off? It was a vicious cycle.
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts. What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho Cheese
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A Bed
What’s the most expensive kind of fish?
A gold fish.
What did the judge say to the dentist? Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will Let it go.
What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? So he could have sweet dreams. What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
Where do bulls get their messages? On a bull-etin board.
What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine? it wooden go!
Why is Basketball such a messy sport? Because you dribble on the floor!
Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Which month do soldiers hate most? The month of March!
What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?
My hand.
What do you call a European Bigfoot?
Bigmeter.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
What was the seal's favorite subject in school?
ART ART ART!
Why did Harry Potter throw away all his old potions?
They were past their hexpiration date!
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy!
What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Crispies!
What bow can't be tied? A rainbow!
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
What do you get if you a cross a card game with a typhoon? Bridge over troubled water.
What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A Clausterphobic
Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? Because it runs through your jeans. What would you do if I stole a kiss? Call the Police
What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.