The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
Did you know there were vegetarians in Medieval Europe?
More often than not, they were called "peasants"
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
How do medieval cathedrals clean their mouths before bedtime?
They gargoyle
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
What is the name of the knight that spreads all the rumors and news of the court and the king amongst the people? Sir Culate.
What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
In the medieval ages, many knights had to travel throughout day and night. In order to increase their visibility in darkness, they invented a device known as the knightvision goggles.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
What do you ask a medieval crustacean when you want them to feel the music?
Art thou feeling it now Mr. Krabs?
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
What do you call a stunt rider from the 1200's?
Medieval Knievel
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.