Medieval scientists were known to be very arrogant and stubborn. They thought that everything revolved around them!
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
What do you call a medieval dentist?
A plaque doctor.
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
What do you call a knight who just wants to fight with an opponent on level grounds? He is called Sir Face!
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
I googled 'lost medieval servant boy'
The result was 'This page cannot be found.'
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
Vincent Van Gogh met a knight during the latter part of his life, who inspired him to draw one of his most famous paintings - The Starry Knight.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
In medieval times, what were people who worked in banks known as? They were known as fortune-tellers!
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.