Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Which knight is the protector of foods?
Sir Anwrap
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
What bird regales you with stories of middle earth, knights, and allegory?
Bard owl.
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
Medieval Kings and Queens were afraid of the rain in the middle ages because the rain would storm the castle.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
What do you call a medieval siege machine that throws flowers?
A trebouquet
What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress?
Magnets
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?
Sir Render
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
What did the bone mage use to rob medieval homes?
A skeleton key
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What do you call a Medieval knight who's always sure of himself?
Sir Tainly.
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
What do you think is the name of the knight who unexpectedly turned up at the battle? His name is Sir Prize.
Which English royal family was the smartest?
The Tudors.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin