How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
The medieval ages were technologically advanced. Take, for example, the guillotine, it was such cutting-edge technology.
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
When the medieval sorcerer summoned a servant from the magical book, the Queen was astounded. This was a page right out of the book.
Which cheese surrounds a medieval castle?
Moatzarella.
Did you know that back in medieval times, soldiers would sleep with lanterns next to them so they could see if something happened.
They were called "Knight Lights"
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.