How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
Why was the king only a foot tall?
Because he was a ruler.
What do you call a cow apart of the Knights of the Round Table?
Sir Loin
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
No one could measure their height in medieval kingdoms.
Only the Ruler could.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
What was written on a knight's headstone?
Rust in peace.
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...
His stage name "Diss-Bard"
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
What did King Arthur call his sneakiest knight?
Sir Valence.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
What is the name of the device that the king uses to control the moat around his castle? A remoat control.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
Sir Veyor
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
These days, knights love to watch movies, and their favorite genre is the horror and the action genre. Also, I am pretty sure that their favorite movie is 'Knight Of The Living Dead.'
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
