What’s green and mean and stabs you when you hug it?
Cactus
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?
Ouch
What’s it like to kiss a vampire?
A real pain in the neck!
I love all my computer brands and sometimes give ’em smooches.
But I never kiss Intel.
What do you call a person who illegally delivers hugs from country to country?
An international snuggler
What do you call someone that's hungry for some cuddles?
Hugry.
I took a road trip with my girlfriend who finally confessed she needs to stop and hug every now and again to reduce anxiety.
It was touch and go from there on.
Its ok to kiss a nun....
But don't get into the habit.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
My wife and were on the sofa and I lean in for a cuddle.
She says: "careful I'm holding a tea!"
And I say: "and I'm holding you, so I guess we're both holding letters of the alphabet"
Which sea creature gives the best hugs?
A cuttlefish
What's the deal with people who refuse to embrace technology?
Answers on a postcard please.
While cuddling my girlfriend, I whispered "Honey, this isn't working out for me."
Then I rolled off the bed and started doing push-ups. "This is working out for me!"
My counselor gave me a hug today
I guess I got shrinkwrapped
How do flowers kiss?
With their tulips
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
What is the cutest car?
A BM-cuddle-U
You know, I didn't kiss my wife until I was married...
because she wasn't my wife until we were married.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
Being uncomfortable with any physical contact, I decided to rent the book “How to Hug” from the library.
Turns out it was Volume 6 of an old encyclopedia.
Why did Paco's girlfriend not want to kiss him?
She was afraid of the a-Paco-lips.
Why did the skeleton need a hug?
Because he had nobody.
What shape is a kiss?
A-lip-tickle.
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person beside you and feel glad you are alive?
I just did and apparently I will not be allowed on this airline again!
My son fell asleep last night with the TV clicker in his hand.
He’s really embraced remote learning.
How do you get a teddy bear across the border?
You snuggle it across.
I like to crouch down, hug my knees and lean forward.
That's just how I roll
How do you kiss someone at the end of the world?
On the apoca-lips.
"I think you should embrace the change, son"
Said my father as he handed me a handful of coins.
What is it called when two spies hug?
A bond-ing moment.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
My little girl just asked for a goodnight kiss on her nose....
I said I can't kiss that thing it smells!