How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?
A-spear-iguess
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
The biggest irony in the world's history is that the Russian alphabet has no letters in lowercase. It is all Capitalization.
In which battle did the soldiers form a queue outside a metal box?
The battle of Portaloo.
It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named, his father was after Jefferdad.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Henry VIII had breathing troubles - he had no heir!
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!