A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
I have a heart-on for you.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart.
Well wasnt that an unfortunate missed-stake.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
You’re my heartthrob.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.