What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
I have a heart-on for you.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.