She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart.
Well wasnt that an unfortunate missed-stake.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood?
Lettuce
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
You’re my heartthrob.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
I heard about a football player who had a heart attack and collapsed on top of his opponent.
He was dead on a rival.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.