Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless.
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot Doctors
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Bodies in garden are a plant says wife
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
Deaf mute gets new hearing
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember.
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Bodies Needed To Look After Graveyard
Crash courses for private pilots - The Daily Telegraph
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency
Gas rig men grilled by villagers - The Oxford Times
Hypochondriacs aren't OK
“I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In Ten Years
Four Battered In Fish And Chip Shop
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Handless, Bound And Hanged
Republicans Turned Off By Size Of Obama’s Package
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
Filming in cemetery angers residents - The Evening Standard
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder.