Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, Bird Study Shows.
Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Handless, Bound And Hanged
Four Battered In Fish And Chip Shop
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
Miners Refuse To Work After Death
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder.
Republicans Turned Off By Size Of Obama’s Package
Dealers Will Hear Car Talk At Noon
Hypochondriacs aren't OK
Filming in cemetery angers residents - The Evening Standard
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
Grandmother Of Eight Makes Hole In One
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Lawmen From Mexico Barbecue Guests
Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies.
Gas rig men grilled by villagers - The Oxford Times
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
Bodies in garden are a plant says wife
Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop.
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
Circumcision Now Seen As Pointless.
Alzheimer's Center Prepares For An Affair To Remember.
CRIME: Sheriff Asks For 13.7% Increase
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Death Causes Loneliness, Feeling Of Isolation
Crash courses for private pilots - The Daily Telegraph
Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter.
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Man is Fatally Slain.
“I Thought He Was Going to Kill Me”: One Woman’s Harrowing Misunderstanding of How Haircuts Work
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In Ten Years
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire