Funny News Headlines

Enjoy the funniest news headline one liners, most of which come from real newspapers!

Funny News Headlines

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
Man is Fatally Slain.
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies.
Stolen Painting Found By Tree
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe out Literacy.
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
Stolen Prosthetic Arm Discovered in a Secondhand Shop.
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney From Dad She Hasn't Seen In Years
Federal Agents raid gun shop, find weapons
Republicans Turned Off By Size Of Obama’s Package
Filming in cemetery angers residents - The Evening Standard
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus To 66
Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed The Needy
Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts.
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing In Killing
Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, Bird Study Shows.
Foul Play Suspected In Death Of Man Found Handless, Bound And Hanged
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
Bodies in garden are a plant says wife
Goldfish Is Saved From Drowning
Hypochondriacs aren't OK
Killer Sentenced To Die For Second Time In Ten Years
County to Pay $250,000 to Advertise Lack of Funds
Kicking Baby Considered Healthy
Crash courses for private pilots - The Daily Telegraph
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.