Roses are red
Violets are blue
You made my life a mess
Please call a clean-up crew
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
You looked better when I was drunk.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be dead than continue seeing you!
We're donion rings.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
We should make like your parents and split.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
I think we need to become better strangers.
I really like you. So does my wife.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Raise your hand if you have a boyfriend.
Not so fast
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.