Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
You are so right. And I am so left.
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Girl you're looking like a snack and I'm going on a diet.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Do those legs go all the way? Because you should use them to go away.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Are you an astronaut? Because I need some space.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
We're donion rings.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
Are you a fire alarm? because you are really freaking loud and annoying
It’s not you – it’s me. I don’t like you anymore.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
"It's not me, it's you!"
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Honey if I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put the letters "DON'T LOVE" in between I and U
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
The Best Break Up Lines
Want to know a joke? Our relationship.
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Hey babe, I think its about time we cancel our gym membership. We're not working out anymore
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
I think we need to become better strangers.
Sorry sweety, but I think I'm in love with your mom.
How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.