Doctor Puns

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Doctor Puns

The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
The surgeon was fired later that day.
There’s a new drama featuring herbivore doctors.
It’s called Graze Anatomy.
Man: "I’ve had really bad gas lately." Doctor: D"on’t worry, it will pass."
Why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore throat and cough? Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
2 years ago, the doctor told me I was losing my hearing.
Haven't heard from him since then.
I went to see my Doctor this morning and told him "The tablets you gave me to stop me shrinking aren't working".
He said, “You'll just have to be a little patient then”.
Doctor, I keep peeing my pants! What can I do?
Urologist: “It’s mind over matter, urine control.”
My doctor told me that I needed I kidney
I told her no. I'd prefer an adult-knee.
Me: I have an appointment to see the doctor.
Nurse: which doctor?

Me: No, just the regular one
Did you know that doctors that perform circumscisions don’t make a lot of money for those operations?
They only get paid in tips.
He used to be a doctor but he lost his patience.
What kind of doctor is always available?
An on-call-ogist.
Doctor: Are you aware of your sodium intake?
Me: Na.
Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Pull yourself together
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor!
Who is the second coolest man in hospital?
The hip replacement guy!
When I woke up from my accident, I was shocked when the doctors told me I broke all my fingers.
It was hard to grasp.
Once there was a doctor who got shot. He adamantly wanted to perform surgery on himself, despite all of the other surgeons saying that he shouldn't.
But he was so insistent that they finally said "Fine, suture self."
Ya know, I was supposed to be a doctor.
But I just didn’t have the patience.
My doctor didn’t show up to the appointment about my hairline.
He said it got pushed back
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t PEELING well.