Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
I should have dressed up as a ghost tonight so I could let you under my sheets.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
If Corona virus is just a beer virus..
Then it’s just a yeast infection!
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?