What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
I wanna bob for your apples.
Who is running the corona virus relief?
WHO??
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?