I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
Nice pumpkins!
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
Ok, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer, why do I keep hearing about cases of it?
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
I am a mean green machine.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
I wanna bob for your apples.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.