Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
I wanna bob for your apples.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
I am a mean green machine.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
