Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
My kid asked why I named our WiFi "ship"?
But that's how everything syncs.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
Which hard drive is always the happiest?
Disk C:
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Why did the computer squeak? Because someone stepped on its mouse!
This time last year I was working as a computer programmer, installing auto correct. But out of nowhere..
.. I was fried for no raisin.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
German Wi-Fi is the WURST.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Why was the computer late to work? Because it had a hard drive!
What do Russians call a bad WiFi connection?
Inter-NIET
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
I came into the office early and switched as many M and N keys on keyboards as I could. Some might say I'm a monster...
But others will say nomster
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Today my "O" button on my keyboard stopped working.
Maybe it was a sign I should've stopped o-ppressing the keyboard.
I joined a support group for former computer hackers.
Anonymous Anonymous.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.