One day, I carried my laptop to the zoo because I wanted a RAM upgrade so I would have lots of memory when I came back.
I am really good with PowerPoint because I Excel at it.
What did the WiFi router say when it was unplugged?
"Tell my wifi love her
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
How do lumberjacks shut down their computers?.
They log off.
My computer was running pretty hot
Until I downloaded some fan art, and now it's working better.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
My email password has been hacked again
That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
He couldn't get over his dead wife, so he got a new computer
Now he can processor.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Q. Where do computers keep their money?
A. In a data bank.
I was conned into believing that my hotel room in Moscow had free Wifi.
I remember the ad saying: Internyet.
Why did the keyboard not get any sleep?...
Because it has two shifts.
How many wipes does it take to clean a keyboard?
qwsedrftgyhujikolpawesdrtfgyhujikloaszxdcrfvgtbhnjmk,lazsxdcfvgsedtfrgyftg67y78u87u8uii9op[;'';;'/;l/l;.l.k,lkmjkmertyudfghjk12q21q2qw3qwe3we4r45rt6ygerdgfvbwedfcv qwedfscv
How does a computer learn something new?
Bit by bit.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Why did the computer wear glasses?
To improve its web sight.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Did you hear about the new Wifi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
I left my job at the keyboard factory today. To be honest, I had been looking for an Escape for a while.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
Q. What is a popular search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!
My computer's favorite singer is A Dell.
Playing the keyboard is...
my type of music.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
