What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Ah! The element of surprise.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.