Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
Ah! The element of surprise.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.