Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
When life gives you mold - make penicillin.
Ah! The element of surprise.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.