What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.