Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
I am out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
What do you call a cab which provides drug therapy? Chemotaxis.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.