I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
What type of fish do two sodium atoms make?
2Na.
I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
When Miss Acid told her husband, Mr Alkali, she was pregnant...
He exploded with anger.
It wasn't the reaction she was hoping for.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.