How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the thin ice our relationship is on.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
Are you a stop watch? Because our time is up.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Hey babe, are you the Mcdonald's Ice Cream Machine, because you just aren't working for me anymore.
I just can't take the bad s*x anymore.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
It's not you...it's your taste in music.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Girl its been fun
But im leaving you
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Hey Pumpkin, I just wanted to say that I'm done with having Halloween every day.
"It's not because I don't like you, it's because I hate you."
I think we need to become better strangers.
"The longer we are together, the less serious I am about you."
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Girl, have we both been rendered sightless? Because we ain’t seeing each other anymore.
Hey baby are you American cheese because you come as a single now.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
Girl: Your ex is so attractive
Boy: Which one?
Girl: ME. Goodbye.
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
My divorce attorney
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Can we still share a netflix account?
I think it would be hot if we f**ked other people. Exclusively.
"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?"
"You're not Mr. Right.... just Mr. Right Now."
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
Are you the dog? Because your shit’s all over the lawn.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
This relationship is kinda like the Superbowl LIII halftime show; I can’t wait for it to be over.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
Hey, did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because honestly, Karen, you are a demon.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
I think we need to become better strangers.
We should make like your parents and split.
"If it's meant to be it's meant to be....but just to be clear it isn't."