Can we still share a netflix account?
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Knock knock. Who's there?
You're.
You're who?
You're single again.
Honey, I need you to cancel my subscription. I’m done with your issues.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Dinosaurs represent our relationship, because they both don’t exist anymore.”
"It's not me, it's you!"
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
"Maybe this is not the right time for us"
I'm not gay but I'll learn.
There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met. Goodbye.
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Here, look at this blank piece of paper for a second… I wrote every reason why we should stick together on it.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"