Damn girl, are you a magician’s assistant? Because I want you to disappear from my life.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Let’s make like a banana and split.
"I just can't live with the pathetic tickles that you call thrusts anymore."
The mothership has returned and I must leave.
"We are like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself to fix it."
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
"This isn't easy and neither are you. I'm breaking up with you."
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
"It's not you...it's your taste in music"
"I just can't take the bad lovemaking anymore".
I will always cherish my initial misconceptions of you.
Boy: Want to hear a joke?
Girlfriend: Sure.
Boy: Our relationship.
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Hey babe do you need crutches? Cause I can’t stand you anymore.
"You're perfect in every way, just not for me."
We must be a cast on a spiral fracture, girl. Because we’re on a serious break.
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
"Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me?"
Are you a dollar bill? Because you’re single.
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
"Sorry I stopped contacting you. I had to go back to rehab."
Did we fall from the sky? Because we look pretty broken up right now.
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
We need to cover more ground so we should split up.
I expected some baggage with our relationship but I didn’t expect the cargo of the Titanic to come floating to the surface.
"I took a gamble and chose you, now i believe I made a bad bet."
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Knock knock. Who's there? You're - You're who? - You're single!
Girl: Want to see a magic trick?
Boyfriend: Sure.
Girl: Poof you're single.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
"It's not me, it's you!"
Hey, babe. I think it's time we take our relationship to the previous level.
"Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth."
Let’s make like an atom, and split.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
I’d better get a library card, because I’m checking out of this relationship.
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
"Hey babe, you heard of the movie 'Other people?'"
"Yeah, why?"
"I think we should see it."
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
Aside from being single, what do you do for a living?
Girl, If you were a fruit you'd be a can't-elope.
You looked better when I was drunk.
I don’t know what I’d do without you, but starting tomorrow I’m going to give it a try.
It’s a good thing we’re bad at puzzles because there is no way we’re putting this shit back together.
