Can we still share a netflix account?
Hey, baby. I'm calling myself Han because you need to be Solo.
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.
"Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back."
Dang girl, are you an angel? Because you are dead to me.
It's time to be like a kit-kat and split up.
I see my future like how the Americans spell colour. Without u.
Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Hey, let's hold a costume party. You can be a bank, and I can be alone!
What’s your sign? Mine is stop.
Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you.
"There's something I've been wanting to say since the day we met - goodbye."
We should make like the Soviet Union and split up.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Hey, are you an anchor? Because you've done nothing but weigh me down.
Are you a New Years resolution? Because we stopped working out after the first two weeks
Roses are red
And you gotta go
Because I found out
That you is a ho.
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
Hey, remember back when we were a thing… Yeah… Good times.
Do you happen to know sign language? Because this is the last time you’ll hear from me.
"I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not."
Roses are red
Violets are blue
But I don't care
Cause I'm leaving you.
"I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow."
Roses are red, violets are blue, trash is dumped and so are you.
"Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you."
Our relationship is like my financial status: Broke.
If you take the "L" out of LOVER. Its OVER.
"I treated this relationship like my diet, one cheat day a week."
Hey baby, you know what sounds good? You and me never speaking to each other again.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
Baby are you an angel? Because I'm a atheist.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put I at the beginning and U at the end.
Hey baby, remember how you said that you can’t live without me? Well, it’s time to get your affairs in order….
Are you a thief? Because you stole a year of my life.
They say one man's trash is another man's treasure. I hope you find someone who treasures you.
Hey baby, I think I'm going blind. Because I can't see you anymore.
"Remember when I asked you out? Well, I was talking to the girl behind you"
I think we need to become better strangers.
Wanna see a magic trick? Abrakadabra, you're single now.
Hear that sound? (cup hand to ear) Yep- that's a dump truck, and it's coming for you!
"Roses are red, violets are blue. We're breaking up beacause I never loved you."
Hey baby, are you in a tunnel? Because we’re breaking up.
"Look, our relationship is like doing push ups on your knees. It's just not working out"
Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number, can you do the same?
"Our relationship is like a fat guy."
"What?"
"It's not working out."
Let’s make like a banana and split.
Me: Did it hurt?
Her: Did what hurt?
Me: When the door hit you in the ass on the way out.
You’re the girl that everybody wants. Today is their lucky day.