What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.