Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.