What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."