What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
