What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?