What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.