I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.