What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
