What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)