When I was young, my dad used to throw quarters at my head whenever I acted up.
He said, “Maybe this’ll knock some scents into you.”
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
What do you call a guy that hands out free kebabs to the hungry?
A Döner.
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?
Mesquite-o.
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton?
A rib cage.
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
What did the skeleton bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
I didn't think the doctor would fix the curve in my spine
But now I stand corrected.
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
What bone does a dog not eat?
A trombone.
I think my back hurts. I'm okay though.
It's spine.