Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
A balding magician had an act where he'd put a rabbit on his head and make it disappear...
The hare vanished into thin hair.
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
My wrists hurt whenever I drive to work with my co-workers and we go through a tunnel.
I think it's carpool tunnel syndrome.
Why do skeletons never move?
Because they have too much Skelatonin.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
What’s the least honest bone in the body?
The fibula.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
I have a heart-on for you.
I'm going to get the numbers 1 through 30 tattooed up my arm.
That way people can always count on me.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
How do two skeletons have se*?
They bone each other.
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.