With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
... Russian.
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
What did one brain say to another?
I lobe you.
Why do anti vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? Romeostasis.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
Using vaccines is...
Antibody-building.
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
Hey why Are The Viruses All Gone? Cause They "flu" AWAY.
If this new covid vaccine works...
...It'll be a real shot in the arm for 2021.
I created a vaccine for apathy, but unfortunately no one seems interested.
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
Serotonin and Dopamine: Technically, the only things you enjoy.
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
I can't imagine the stress put on the workers in trying to figure out the newest flu vaccine...
It probably puts a strain on the staff.
I don't think I need a spine.
It's holding me back.
Two red blood cells met and fell in love, but alas, it was all in vein.
Biology - It grows on you.
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
What does a biologist wear when they're going out?
Designer genes.
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
I was going to become a biologist. But all the endless coursework on hearts and lungs and kidneys and so on just made it seem like one long organ recital.
What do you call doctors who make vaccines for the flu?
Flu-Fighters.
Organ donors really put their heart into it.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
Bacteria is the only culture some people have.
The Covid-19 vaccine should be tested on politicians first...
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
Hey kids! I went back in time and formed a British 80s pop group called The Vaccine!
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? "I like your style."
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
What type of flowers does everybody have? two-lips.
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
Why was the scuba diver failing Biology? Because he was below "C" level.
What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
The Nucleboss.
How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes down.
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
What did Russian do after they made the vaccine ?
They Put-in.
How do you know your dehydrated? You can hear your red blood cells crenating.
How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
How is a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
What did the Italian marine Biologist say when asked to identify an eel?
That's a moray!