Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
Why can't a pirate count Roman numerals?
They got lost at C
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
A Roman Lifeguard on duty:
See Caesar, Beware the tides of March!
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
What did the anciient Roman soldier tell his girlfriend?
You are a solid X
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
Who used to run pen & paper RPGs in 1st century BC Rome?
The Carpe DM
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!