Did you know the first weather report was delivered to Julius Caesar?
Hail Caesar
You're my romeboy.
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.
Why didn't ancient Romans reuse crosses after crucifixions?
To avoid cross contamination
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
My wife and I agreed for some Roman foreplay
I agreed to be Caesar and my wife was the beautiful Cleopatra
I got stabbed 23 times
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar. "GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts we don't serve your type!
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome