Why did Julius Caesar go to the dermatologist?
Because he had so many lesions.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
What roman never gets any dates?
Hidius
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
What time is it Julius? 8:02 Brutus.
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
What do you call a musician who just saw Medusa?
A rockstar!
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
People argue that the Romans were wrong to crucify Jesus
Personally, I think they nailed it.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
Ancient Rome
Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls I had?
- mmm?
- No, not that many...
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
If Romeo and Juliet were tuna...
they would be Starkist lovers.
You know, I really liked the rule of Nero.
Rome was pretty lit at the time.
Which roman emperor was a mouse? Julius cheeser!
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.