Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
A sperm donor, a carpenter, and julius ceaser walk into a bar
He came, he saw, he conquered
Doofus was the stupidest of Roman generals.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
Everyone remembers the iconic line from the lesser known Tragedy of Julius Sneezer:
"Achoo, Brute?"
What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece?
Troy Story.
What do you call a depressed tick from ancient Rome?
A hopeless Roman Tick
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
Romeo & Juliet.doc...
...is a play on Word.
Pirate ship Captain: Listen up, I need some help in writing 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I captain.
Just landed in Rome, Italy. My pilot used to be a Franciscan Monk...
...But now he's an Air Friar.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
Julius Caesar
Was a well dressed romaine.
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
4 Norse gods, 1 roman God, and 2 astrological bodies walk into a bar
The bartender says: Oh, this is gonna be a week joke
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
Ancient Romans considered vomitoriums a good place to un-wine.