How do you make a dog stop barking in the backyard?
Move him to the front yard.
Two kids are camping in their backyard, it's gotten pretty late and neither of them has a watch.
"What time do you think it is?" one of them asks the other.
"Just make a ton of noise," says the other.
The first kid gets confused and decides to do it anyway. After a few seconds of screaming, a light turns on in another yard and a neighbor yells, "YOU CRAZY KIDS IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING!!"
Two snowmen were standing in a yard. One asked the other, "Do you smell carrot?" The other snowman replied, "No, but I can taste coal."
Is it possible to scare a sasquatch out of your yard by tossing eggs at him?
Only if you eggs-terminate him.
You’ve been working too yard.
The neighbor's dog pooped in our yard, so my wife told me to get the shovel and toss it over their fence.
But that didn't solve anything.
Now the neighbors have my shovel and someone still has to pick up the poop in our yard.
I was walking by a yard sale the other day.
I saw a radio for $1. The volume dial was broken but I knew I couldn’t turn that down.
I cut down a tree in my yard, but I don't know what to do next.
I'm stumped!
A tree fell over in our yard but we aren't sure why.
We're looking for the root cause.
I'm always really disappointed when I pull up to a yard sale...
And they aren't willing to sell me any of their yards.
My neighbor planted dogwood trees in his front yard.
I’m not a huge fan of the bark.
What type of underwear does a yard wear?
Lawngerie.
My HOA agreement has a statement mandating we have an inflatable Santa displayed in our yard during December.
There is a Santa clause.
There is a German shepherd next door that keeps burying bones in my yard and taking poops on my flower bed.
His dog is not as bad.
Wanna know why I like to do yard work?
It really takes the hedge off!
An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him: "Daddy, what is s*x?"
The Dad was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees'. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.
"Why did you ask this question?" Her father asked her:
The little girl replied, "Well mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
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