It was the retirement dinner for Tim Simmons.
He’d lived a long life. When he was only 25 he went on a mission trip to South America where he met two young boys who he later adopted. Seeing the standard of living in South America prompted him to study medicine- a field he completely excelled in and successfully developed vaccines for over ten diseases. With the little money he earned from his hard work he immediately donated it back into relief funds for all the places he’d visited.
His coworkers all loved him, ask anyone and they all say he was the most positive and bright man they’d ever met.
This is why it came as no surprise that during his retirement dinner, an angel descended from heaven to speak with him.
“You have lived a giving life, one that many could look up too and many relied on to survive. Because of this, we would like to give you a gift- a long and healthy life, all the wealth you could imagine, or unparalleled wisdom.”
Tim debates between longevity and wisdom for half a breath but very quickly decides he wants unparalleled wisdom.
The angel reaches down, touches his forehead, and leaves without another word.
The guests at the dinner, still in a partial state of shock, stare in silence at the slack jawed man. Eventually, his coworker and closest friend speaks up, “Well? How is it?”
The room was silent for a few seconds while Tim mulled over the question.
“I should’ve chosen the bloody money.” He said.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure, because...
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
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