Ski Jokes

If you think the 45 degree ski slope is tough,
Wait until you try the 110 degree hot tub!

Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.

How do ski instructors get to work?
By icicle.

What do frogs do when they ski?
They rip it.

Why don't skeletons ski the black diamond runs at Copper Mountain?
They've got soul, but they just don't have the heart for it.

Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?

What do the guys at the ski repair shop eat their lunch on?
Baseplates.

Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, was it Red Bull that gave you wings, or are you just an angel?

Where do ski instructors keep their money?
In the local snow bank.

What does the ski bum do when the chairlift line is too long?
He's gondola top of the mountain.

Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.

Why did the ski instructor ask for a divorce?
He found out his wife is a real flake.

Why is learning to ski in France so difficult?
'Cause sometimes they won't Alp you.

Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.

Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
His underwear is hanging on the lamp.
His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.
His workbook is wedged in the window,
His sweater’s been thrown on the floor.
His scarf and one ski are beneath the TV,
And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.
His books are all jammed in the closet,
His vest has been left in the hall.
A lizard named Ed is asleep in his bed,
And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
Donald or Robert or Willie or—
Huh? You say it’s mine? Oh, dear,
I knew it looked familiar!
(Shel Silverstein)