Replaced Jokes

I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice.
People were really sour about it.
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it:
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Guy: "Whats the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: OMG, and the good news?
Doc: You now have a tic tac toe.
For April fools my girlfriend replaced my alphabits with Cheerios.
I have no words to say how angry I am.
I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
“Marriage is a difficult project. When seven years have passed and all your body’s cells have been replaced, you’re meant to experience that seven-year itch.”

—Yoko Ono
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
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