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Off Jokes

Yard Puns
Wanna know why I like to do yard work?
It really takes the hedge off!
Someone randomly dropped off a bull in my neighbor’s yard, but animal control picked it up before she got home.
She would have had a cow.
Classic Pick Up Lines
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet
I think there’s something wrong with my eye. I can’t take them off of you.
Utensils Puns
I was walking home last night through the park, when this scary looking kid drew a knife on me...
The little brat used a permanent marker and it was a bastard to wash it off.
Pot Puns
What do you call a monk who steals a grilled cheese sandwich right off the griddle?
Out of the frying pan and into the friar.
Clothes Pick Up Lines
Take off those blue suede shoes and let's shake rattle n roll!
Hey baby, I just found out our shirts were manufactured in unfair working conditions; let's take them off.
Take off your shirt, I want to be closer to your heart.
Did you get those pants on sale? (Why?) Because at my house they would be 100% off!
Elvis Pick Up Lines
Take off those blue suede shoes and let's shake rattle n roll!
Halloween Pick Up Lines
That’s a nice Witch costume, but you won’t be needing the broom anymore, because you’ve already swept me off my feet.
Christian Pick Up Lines
I can get you off the Naughty List.
Mall Pick Up Lines
Want to go shopping? Today only there's a special deal: 30% off on my heart!
Food Quotes
“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”
― Erma Bombeck
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