Moon Jokes

A Kung Fu pupil asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers: "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?" "Yes, my master, I have." "And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?" "Yes, my master, I have witnessed it." "And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?" "Yes, my master, I watch it every night." "That is the problem. You keep watching all this stuff instead of training."

On July 20th, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words after stepping on the moon, "that's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," were heard by millions of people around the world. But just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark: "good luck, Mr. Gorsky." Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "good luck, Mr. Gorsky” statement meant, but he just brushed them off by smiling. On July 5th, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question. That time, he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died, so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question. In 1938, when he was a kid in a small Midwestern town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit the ball, which landed in his neighbor's yard by the bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, the young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. "Make love? You want to make love?! You'll get lovin' when the kid next door walks on the moon!!"

A woman’s garden is growing beautifully but the tomatoes won’t ripen. She goes to her neighbor and says, ”Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?” The man replies, ”Well, it may sound absurd but here’s what to do. Tonight there’s no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they’ll be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they’ll all be red, you’ll see.” She says to herself "Well, what the heck it can’t hurt to try it." Next day her neighbor asks how it worked. “So so,” she answers. “The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer.”