You know what they say about ice cream parents?
They play flavorites.
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
How did Reese eat her ice cream? Witherspoon.
What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week?
Sundae.
Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
How does Reese eat her ice cream?
Witherspoon.
Why did the ice cream truck break down?
There was a rocky road.
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
What kind of ice cream does Dracula eat?
Veinilla.
Why do ice cream cones make such bad athletes?
They always get licked.
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
Why does everyone want ice cream to be on their team?
Because with them, anything is popsicle.
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a'la mode.
Why did the ice cream truck break down? Because of the Rocky Road.
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
How is ice cream as a girlfriend?
The sweetest.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?
A McFurry
What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
What happens when you buy too much ice cream?
Breyer’s remorse.
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
Did you hear about the ice cream that went to prison?
They got their just desserts.
What do you get from an Alaskan cow ? Ice Cream
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
What do you call a metalhead working at Cold Stone? Alice Scooper.
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
Why are popsicles so snobby?
They have a stick up their butt.
Why is ice cream so bad at tennis?
They have a soft serve.
What did the ice cream cone write on his valentine card?
You make me melt.
What are ice cream cones like as parents?
They’re big softies.
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
How do astronauts eat their ice cream? In floats!
Why don't they make ice cream from breast milk? It's an udderly bad idea!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ice cream!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you throw me in the cold, cold water!
How does an ice cream cone congratulate you on the anniversary of your birth?
It’s sherbert day!
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
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