Threatened Jokes

Divorce Puns

My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name...
So I called her Bluff.

Puns

When I refused to buy her concert tickets for the weekend, my 15 year old daughter broke down and threatened to cry a river.
I told her to go ahead, but remember that she's so self absorbed the tears won't even make it to her cheeks.

Anti Jokes

Why did the swan hiss? Biologically, it’s coded in their genes to do so when threatened.

Knife Puns

Yesterday, a man threatened to kill himself with a knife and someone called the cops.
Today he died of his gunshot wounds.

Ogre Puns

My wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop making monster puns.
So I guess our relationship might as well be ogre.