Tear Jokes

If you were a tear drop, I would never cry for the fear of losing you.
I'll put a tear drop in the ocean. When you find it is when I'll stop loving you.
Are you the black line at the bottom of the pool? Cause I can’t tear my eyes away from you.
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
How I Became a Millionaire
It was Sunday and the preacher has just finished an inspiring church service when Rick, the wealthiest man in town, stood up and asked to address the congregation. The preacher wasn't surprised at this. "Just make it quick, Rick." He sighs. "Sure Father." Said Rick. He cleared his throat and addressed the audience: "I can still recall the day when I earned my first dollar," he began. "That same evening, I attended a church meeting where the speaker talked about his humanitarian efforts. At that moment, I had only that single dollar to my name, and I had to make a tough decision: give it to the speaker's cause or keep it for myself. "I chose to donate it all, and I truly believe that God blessed that decision, which is why I am a millionaire today." he finished, a tear gleaming in his eye. "Oh yea?" an old woman in the audience stood up, "I dare you to do it again!"
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.