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Summer Jokes

Irish Puns
How can Irish people tell when it’s summer?
The rain gets warmer.
Sun Pick Up Lines
You're as hot as a desert summer.
She acts like summer and walks like rain.
If it weren’t for the summer sun, you’d be the hottest thing ever created.
Oh, the heat! Doesn’t summer know – you’re all the sunshine I need!
Storm Puns
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
Weather Pick Up Lines
Is your name Summer? Because you are hot!
Why is Daddy Special?
A father, mother and child went out to spend time on the beach on a hot summer's day, but as soon as they reached the beach they discovered that there was a black flag there, a sign not to enter the water. The boy really wanted to get in the water, but his mother did not agree and they stayed on the beach to rest in the sun and play in the sand. After a few minutes, the father got bored and turned to his wife: "Keep an eye on the boy, I'm going into the water, there's no way the sea is really that dangerous." After a few minutes the boy asked "Mom, why did you let dad get in the water and not me?" "Because you and father are two different people and there are things he can do and you can't." answered the mother. "Is it because dad knows how to swim really well?" continued the boy. "Not really" answered the mother. "Is it because dad is big and strong?" "No." "Then why is daddy allowed to enter the water and I'm not?" the boy complained. "Because daddy has life insurance."
Honesty ISN'T Always the Best Policy
Once there was a little boy that lived in the country with his father. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter - and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek. One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen and the little boy decided that that was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away. That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it son?" The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth." The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree."
Deodorant Puns
As summer approaches, I think it’s a good idea to use two deodorants, one under each armpit.
But that’s just my two scents.
Knight Puns
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
Peach Puns
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
Food Pick Up Lines
I want you more then an ice-cream on a hot summer day.
I froze some raspberries last summer. You're hot enough to defrost them.
Funny Parenting Quotes
“Sending your kids to summer camp teaches them important life lessons... like, ‘You can deal with your problems by sending them to summer camp.’”

- Ari Fishbein.
Garden Quotes
"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."
- James Dent
Canadian Pick Up Lines
You’re prettier than a summer day in Lunenburg.