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Section Jokes

One Liners and Short Jokes
Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
Food Quotes
“Nutrition labels should include a “What if I ate the whole thing” section.”
― Unknown
Literary Pick Up Lines
Excuse me, could you point me toward the Self-Help section? I need some advice on how to approach a gorgeous guy in a bookstore without seeming creepy.
Ancient Rome Puns
Where did Julius Caesar's fans sit at the Colosseum?
The Caesarean section.
Gun Puns
I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
You: It's dangerous for you to be here in the frozen food section. Because you could melt all this stuff.
Ocean Puns
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
Brain Puns
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
The CEO, the Employee and the Rock Climbing
A CEO went on a rock-climbing trip with one of his employees. The CEO, an experienced climber, reached the top of a difficult section and was holding a rope tied to both men. As the employee was climbing up, he lost his grip, and was only saved by the strength of the CEO who was barely able to hang on. The CEO yelled, "Hurry, I'm losing my grip!", but the employee was so scared he couldn't find a handhold. The CEO yelled, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to let you go." The employee, accepting his fate, was praying when a wad of cash hit him in the face. He yelled to the CEO, "What the hell is this for?" The CEO, while cutting the rope, replied, "It's your severance pay."
Utensils Puns
I lost my kid in the kitchenware section of Ikea today.
It was a pans labyrinth.
Fire Puns
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
Hard Drive Puns
Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.
I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.
Meat Puns
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.