Pleased Jokes

How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
Hard to Hear
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said: "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again." The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations. And do you know what?" "What?" asked the doctor. "I've changed my will three times!"