Michael Jokes

George Michael once damaged his ears while cleaning them...
Careless Swissper.
“How can something so small create so much of something so disgusting?”

- Michael, ‘Three Men And A Baby.’
What did Michael Jackson say to his chess opponent?
“It don’t matter if you’re black or white.”
The Advanced New Supermarket
As Josh strolled along the street, he saw his buddy Michael striding along anxiously with lots of bags in his hands. "Hey Michael, is everything alright? You seem kind of jumpy." Michael set the bags on the ground and said, "Yeah, I was just now at the state-of-the-art supermarket that they launched in the industrial part of the city." "Oh? What's it like there? I heard it's remarkable." "Kind of..." Michael replied. Josh was amazed when Michael described the grocery store with enthusiasm - emphasizing the atmosphere of naturalness and genuineness. You could hear cows mooing and smell the barn in the milk section. In the egg aisle, chickens were cackling and the chicken coop was in the air, and it was even better in the vegetable section - you could literally hear the farmers and smell the fields! "Wow, that sounds incredible!" Josh exclaimed. "Well, yes, in principle." said Michael with a grimace, "But this is the last time I'm going there to buy toilet paper."
What was Michael Jackson's favorite Spanish food?
Jamon!
A soda company printed Michael Jackson on all of their cans
He really is the king of pop
I'm having mixed feelings about being a Michael Jackson impersonator.
On one hand, you get to wear a cool white glove.

On the other hand, you don't.
How did Michael Jackson revolutionize cooking in space?
Moon Wok!
"Beat it." — Michael Jackson, "Beat It"
“I only like lemons,”
Said Michael zestfully.
“I believe it’s a cook’s moral obligation to add more butter given the chance.”
― Michael Ruhlman