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Homeless Jokes

Toxic Pick Up Lines
I used to go out with a homeless girl, like you. It was great. I could drop her off anywhere.
One Liners and Short Jokes
I HATE when homeless people shake their cans of change at me.
I get it, you have more money than me, you don't have to show off.
I saw a homeless dude and gave him a dollar.
Then I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.
Today, I donated my phone, watch, and $500 to a homeless man. Words cannot describe how happy I felt
When he put his gun back in his pocket
The other day a homeless man asked me for some change so I got my wallet out and realized I only had a £20 note.
I thought to myself, "Do I really want this money being spent on drugs?"
I decided I didn't so I gave him the money
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?
Knife Puns
Homeless man attacks kid with a knife
Don’t worry the kid was fine. He had a knife.
Puns
When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party.
Now I'm homeless.
Volleyball Puns
What do you call a professional beach volleyball player who doesn’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Homeless.
Kangaroo Puns
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
Funny Haiku
I knew this gambler.
He bet it all on a bluff.
He is now homeless.
Anti Jokes
What did the homeless man get for christmas?
Nothing.
The Young Priest's First Job
Josh was excited. As his first official duty as a parish priest, fresh out of school, he got to officiate his first funeral for a homeless man with no friends or family. The young priest vowed to give him the most loving send-off, the love he probably missed in this life. The funeral was to be held at a new cemetery across town and this man was the first to be laid to rest there. New to the area, Father Josh arrived late, but noticed a few workers gathering around the grave opening. The young and enthusiastic priest poured out his heart and soul as he gave his sermon and recited the prayers. His voice was so evocative and powerful that he brought the cemetery workers to tears. When the service was over, the priest thanked the workers for listening and walked to his car. As he opened the door, Josh heard one worker say to the other, “I've never seen anything like that before and I've been putting in septic systems for over 20 years!"