What do gnome mothers often say to their naughty children? Wait till your father gets gnome.
What did the witness say at the gnome trial? In my gnome words here’s what happened.
Go big or go gnome.
Where do gnomes first go when they log on to the internet?
The gnome page of course!
What do gnomes love to sing at Christmas?
We're driving gnome for Christmas.'
I met a gnome once, our conversation was very awkward...
I’m not very good at small talk.
The word Gnome is a corruption of the Latin word Genomus or earth dweller.
In other words, it's a misgnomer.
Did you hear about the gnome cop?
He works in lawn enforcement.
Someone stole my lawn gnome that was under my porch!
Who would stoop so low?
Why did the confused gnome decide to see a shrink?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.
Why was the gnome just standing over his lawnmower and crying?
Because he hit a rough patch.
What do gnome standup comedians call a tiny pun?
Puny.
What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?
Gnome-gnome-gnom-gnom-gnom-nom-nom!
Why did the gnome visit his mother?
To get a gnome-cooked meal.