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Fruit Jokes

Orange Puns
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle? – An Orange County Chopper.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
What do you call a punctual citrus fruit?
A Clockwork Orange.
The favorite drink for batman is a fruit punch.
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
What is the healthiest fruit?
“An orange. It takes Vitamin See!”
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
Food Quotes
"A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine, something Brussels sprouts never do."
– P. J. O’Rourke
"Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face."
— Enrico Caruso
The Old Woman and the Shopkeeper
An elderly woman visited a store that sold jade and requested seven kilograms of potatoes. The owner was delighted to help and started packing the potatoes. However, the woman stopped him and requested that each potato be wrapped individually. The man complied and asked if there was anything else he could help with. The woman then requested four kilograms of onions to be wrapped in a similar manner. The shop owner packed the onions and asked if there was anything else. The woman requested seven kilograms of carrots. "Let me guess," said the owner with a sour face, "you want them wrapped individually." "Oh, that would be grand." she said. The shop owner fulfilled her request and packed all her items in a bag. The woman then asked: "What are in those crates behind you?" The man flushed red and said "Madam, these are grapes and they are not for sale!"
Are You Pick Up Lines
Are you a fruit, because Honeydew you know how fine you look right now?
Garden Quotes
“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
— Anonymous