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Fastest Jokes

Planet Puns
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid on the planet?
It's pasteurized before you see it.
Literary Pick Up Lines
I don't mean to brag, but I'm one of the fastest speed-readers in the tri-county area.
Fishing Puns
What is the fastest fish in the water? A motopike
Funny Parenting Quotes
“The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.” – @ramblinma
Running Puns
Who was the fastest runner of all time?
Adam. He was the first in the human race.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
River Puns
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
Utensils Puns
Which drawing utensil is the fastest?
The e-racer.
Bible Puns
Who was the fastest runner in the race?
Adam, because he was first in the human race.
Volleyball Puns
What is the fastest way to make a setter angry? Each time you make a pass, tell the setter the ball is “Up” and then say “Yours!”
Fish Puns
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
Fastest Dad in the World
Three youngsters were in the midst of a spirited debate to determine who had the swiftest dad. "My dad is the fastest!" Anya exclaimed excitedly. "He's a builder and can chuck a brick off the fifth floor, race down the stairs and catch it before it even hits the ground!" "That's nothing!" Brad boasted. "My dad is much faster! He's a professional archer and can target an arrow at a wolf's head, fire it, and then run and grab the creature before the arrow even lands!" "Incredible!" exclaimed Tommy. "But I think my father is way faster!" "What makes you say that?" asked Anya and Brad curiously. "My father has been working at the DMV for 20 years," Tommy answered. "he's expected to be off work at 5PM, but he's so speedy he's home by 1!"
Color Puns
Which color is the fastest?
Red, because it is always redy.