Electricity Jokes

The storm suppose to knock out the power, but your eyes have all the electricity I need.
How long does it take for electricity to travel the length of a 10 car train?
It all depends on the conductor.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one free of charge.
The sweater I bought recently kept picking up static-electricity, so I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
What did Communists use to light their houses before candles? Electricity.
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
I can’t afford to pay for electricity anymore; these are some dark times.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
What did communists use before candles?
Electricity.
Little Johnny and the New Baby
A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.  It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.  The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.  "Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"