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Dies Jokes

Planet Puns
When a planet dies, does it get an orbituary?
Theater Puns
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
Funny Headlines
Two Soviet Ships Collide - One Dies.
Anti Jokes
Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.
Puns
A guy named Bart walks into a bar, he immediately gets shot and dies. Who killed him?
The Bartender.
Cowboy Puns
What is it called when a cowboy dies and comes back to life?
Reintarnation
Troll Puns
You have to hunt down a troll and kill it with a gun. After you find it, you accidently lose sight of it. In rage, you fire your gun. The bullets hit the troll and it dies.
What do you tell the person who sent you on the quest?
- I lost gun-trol.
Quotes
“Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.”
E. B. White
Cowboy Jokes
What is it called when a cowboy dies and comes back to life?
Reintarnation