Customer Jokes

What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
I just saw a cashier scan the eyes of a rude customer with her barcode reader.
The look on his face was priceless.
“Hey barista, how much for a cup of coffee?” says a customer.
“Two dollars,” replies the barista, “and refills are free.”
“Great. Then I’ll have a refill,” answers the customer.
If I had a dollar every time a customer complained about the price of cinema food, I could almost afford a small popcorn.
Video games never made me angry or want to hurt people.
Working in customer service already did that.
The Price of Whiskey
A young man goes into a liquor store and approaches the shop owner. Customer: "Excuse me, can I ask you a question?" Shop owner: "Sure, son, go ahead." Customer: "Why are you selling the Jack Daniels at thirty dollars per bottle?" Shop owner: "And why shouldn't I, exactly?" Customer: "But the owner of the shop across the street sells it at twenty dollars per bottle." Shop owner: "Well, if you don't like it, why don't you go and buy there?" Customer: "Well, because right now, they don't have any Jack Daniels." "I assure you young man," said the shop owner, "once I run out of Jack Daniels, I'll be selling it at fifteen dollars per bottle!"
Have you heard about the restaurant that caters exclusively to dolphins?
It only has one customer, but at least it serves a porpoise.
I got fired on my first day as a car salesman.
Customer: "Cargo space?"
Me (speaking slowly): "No, not space.. Car go ROAD."
Manager: " Can I see you in my office?"
Did you hear about the limo driver who went 25 years without a customer? All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.
“Hey barista, how much for a cup of coffee?” says a customer.
“Two dollars,” replies the barista, “and refills are free.”
“Great. Then I’ll have a refill,” answers the customer.